How digital desire and distrust are reshaping intimacy for a new generation. – Psychology Today


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In a world where people can broadcast others’ private moments in seconds and create deepfakes that can make life feel unbearable, it’s no wonder Gen Z is reimagining intimacy to include more of AI and less of humanity. This generation is pioneering new forms of connection—through AI chatbots, “romantasy” fiction, and anime porn—not just for novelty, but perhaps even for protection. When trust in human relationships feels fragile, technology may appear to offer a safer, more predictable refuge.
The erosion of trust in human relationships may be at the heart of this shift. With social media amplifying every misstep and deepfakes making it easy to exploit vulnerabilities, Gen Z faces a landscape where betrayal and public shaming are ever-present risks. In this context, digital intimacy may feel less risky and more controllable for some young people. This is a generation drawn to tech-based connection, not because they don’t value human relationships, but because people have become increasingly difficult to trust.
Chatbots have become wildly popular among Gen Z, with millions using AI companions for everything from late-night conversations to emotional support. Platforms like Replika and Character.AI are seeing explosive growth, as young users seek out digital confidants who are always available, never judge, and offer a sense of companionship on demand. For many, these chatbots seem to provide a buffer against loneliness and social anxiety—but heavy use can actually deepen feelings of isolation and dependence, rather than alleviate them (Liu 2024).
Romantasy—a blend of “romance” and “fantasy”—is a fiction genre that merges sweeping love stories with magical, otherworldly settings. Popularized by platforms like BookTok and Wattpad, romantasy lets Gen Z escape the pressures of reality and explore relationships in worlds where anything is possible: dragons, witches, parallel universes, and shifting identities. The appeal lies in its ability to offer both emotional intensity and imaginative freedom, allowing readers to experiment with love, power, and identity outside the constraints of real-world expectations. While romantasy can provide comfort and creative exploration, it may also set up idealized notions of connection that may be hard to replicate in everyday life. As alluring as fantasy can be, the reality of human relationships is imperfection and unpredictability.
Hentai porn, sometimes referred to as anime, is animated adult content originating from Japan but now global in reach. Unlike traditional live-action porn, anime porn features stylized, exaggerated characters and fantastical scenarios. For Gen Z, the appeal lies in its creative freedom, anonymity, and the ability to explore taboo or niche interests in a way that feels less exploitative or risky than human-based content. Yet, while it can offer a safe space for sexual exploration, it also risks reinforcing unrealistic expectations and further distancing users from the reality of real-life sex.
Despite these new AI outlets, Gen Z is experiencing record levels of loneliness and anxiety (Popa, 2024). Research shows that those who spend the most time with AI chatbots or digital intimacy tools often feel the loneliest—especially if they were already struggling with isolation (Liu 2024). Heavy reliance on tech can deepen withdrawal from face-to-face connection, creating a cycle of increased loneliness and anxiety.
The pull of digital intimacy for Gen Z is real and valid. Romantasy, anime porn, and chatbots offer creative, sometimes healing spaces for self-exploration. But we can’t idealize these trends or ignore their limits. Human relationships—messy, unpredictable, and sometimes risky—still, at least for now, remain essential for emotional growth, resilience, and true intimacy.
To support future generations in building satisfying intimate connections, we must first recognize that digital intimacy is here to stay and make a genuine effort to understand how AI, erotica, and virtual relationships are shaping people’s expectations and experiences. It’s essential to encourage practices that blend digital exploration with opportunities for face-to-face connection, emotional education, and community.
We should also support the creation of intentional environments—both online and offline—where people can safely practice vulnerability, navigate conflict, and experience the rewards of real relationships. Ultimately, the future of intimacy depends on our ability to blend AI with authentic, safe human connection, allowing for digital exploration while prioritizing the irreplaceable value of genuine, trusting human bonds.
References
Döring, N., Krämer, N., Mikhailova, V., Brand, M., Krüger, T. H. C., & Vowe, G. (2021). Sexual interaction in digital contexts and its implications for sexual health: A conceptual analysis. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, Article 769732. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.769732
Liu, A. R., Pataranutaporn, P., & Maes, P. (2024). Chatbot companionship: A mixed-methods study of companion chatbot usage patterns and their relationship to loneliness in active users. https://doi.org/10.48550/arXiv.2410.21596
Marcotte, A. S., Kaufman, E. M., Campbell, J. T., Reynolds, T. A., Garcia, J. R., & Gesselman, A. N. (2021). Sextech use as a potential mental health reprieve: the role of anxiety, depression, and loneliness in seeking sex online. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18, 8924. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18178924
Popa, B. (2024). An Overview of Generation Z’s Mental Health. New Trends in Psychology, 6(2), 22–29. Retrieved from https://dj.univ-danubius.ro/index.php/NTP/article/view/3106
Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, diplomate in sex therapy, author, and lecturer with over 20 years of experience working with couples. She is the author of Monogamy: The Untold Story.
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Life never gets easier. Fortunately, psychology is keeping up, uncovering new ways to maintain mental and physical health, and positivity and confidence, through manageable daily habits like these. How many are you ready to try?
Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.

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