Navigating human connection in the age of machines. – Psychology Today
The brightest way to shine is by being fully, imperfectly yourself.
Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
Posted June 23, 2025 Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
Artificial intelligence (AI) is no longer science fiction—it’s an alarm clock, playlist, GPS route, a chatbot in our inbox, and much more. From the moment we wake to the moment we scroll ourselves to sleep, AI quietly moves behind the scenes, shaping what we see, how we work, and, increasingly, how we feel.
We live in a strange and remarkable time. Generative AI can write a sonnet, draft an email, or simulate a conversation that sounds eerily close to human. These systems can summarize our thoughts, finish our sentences, and—in some cases—seem to understand us. But as machines get better at mimicking emotional presence, we’re left with a vital question: What happens to human connection?
Humans are wired for subtlety. A raised eyebrow, a warm hand, the tone behind the words—this is the fabric of emotional life. We read between the lines. We sense each other. AI, no matter how advanced, doesn’t feel joy, fear, love, or grief. It can replicate the words, even the rhythms, but not the lived experience. And yet, as AI becomes more fluent in emotional language, there’s a risk we begin to confuse simulation with sincerity.
It’s already happening in quiet ways. People turn to AI companions to ease loneliness. They confide in chatbots when they’re anxious. Generative AI tools help us process our emotions, reflect on relationships, or even offer encouragement. None of this is inherently wrong—in fact, some of it is quite helpful. But it blurs the boundary between support and substitution.
Here’s the concern: The more we depend on AI to meet emotional needs, the more we may sidestep the uncomfortable, beautiful, often messy work of human connection.
Face-to-face interactions demand effort. Real conversations can be awkward, vulnerable, and time-consuming. AI offers the opposite—efficient, always-on responses with zero emotional risk. But connection without risk is not connection. It’s performance. It’s convenience dressed up as care.
We’re not doomed to isolation, but we do need to pause. The rise of emotional AI—from mental health bots to empathetic voice assistants—is a cue to reflect, not retreat. It’s a reminder to re-anchor in what makes us human.
AI can help in many ways. Mental health apps offer breathing exercises or crisis support when therapists aren’t available. Generative AI can assist people with social anxiety by offering conversation starters or helping them rehearse difficult talks. These are tools, not threats—as long as we use them consciously.
But no machine can replace the emotional weight of a friend sitting beside you in silence. No algorithm can hold your hand during a hard moment or celebrate your joy with real tears. We must not lose sight of this.
Relationships require tending. They need friction, care, vulnerability, and time. That’s how emotional intimacy is built—not through perfect responses, but imperfect presence. The best way to preserve emotional intelligence is to keep showing up—not just digitally, but emotionally.
So, how do we hold on to emotional intelligence—our capacity to understand, manage, and express emotions—in a world increasingly shaped by machines?
Start with intention. Choose human contact over digital ease when it matters. Don’t let your relationships run on autopilot. Make the call. Ask deeper questions. Spend time—not just texting, but truly listening. Presence isn’t just being in the room. It’s paying attention with your whole self.
Next, tune in to your own emotional signals. After you scroll, how do you feel? Energized or dulled? Connected or isolated? Use that emotional feedback as a compass. If digital interactions leave you empty, that’s information. Pay attention.
Set boundaries with tech. Give yourself space to be bored, quiet, or fully immersed in a moment. Create tech-free rituals—a daily walk, dinner without phones, screenless Sunday mornings. These practices restore emotional depth by carving out time for reflection and real-time presence.
And practice empathy, online and off. The digital world rewards speed and sharpness, but true emotional intelligence often lives in the pause. Feel into the gap before commenting. Ask yourself: Who’s on the other side of this message? Can I assume good intent? Kindness isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom in motion.
Children growing up in this AI-infused era need more than screen time limits. They need emotional fluency. As generative AI tools become a part of everyday learning, we must also teach kids how to name their feelings, express their needs, and sit with discomfort.
Digital literacy should go hand-in-hand with emotional literacy. Can you recognize when you’re overwhelmed? Can you listen with empathy? Can you distinguish between attention and affection?
Parents, educators, and mentors play a crucial role here. Model what it means to stay connected in a noisy world. Show that it’s OK to unplug. And, perhaps most importantly, demonstrate that being human—fully human—is still the most valuable skill of all.
There’s also a bigger conversation to have—one about the responsibility of developers, companies, and policymakers. As AI grows in power and pervasiveness, ethical design must lead the way.
We need AI that supports emotional health, not exploits emotional habits. That means building systems that respect boundaries, promote well-being, and reinforce instead of replace human relationships.
Imagine AI tools that remind you to check in with a friend, or that encourage off-screen time. Imagine platforms that prioritize emotional safety over engagement metrics. These are possible, but only if we ask for them.
As we move further into the AI era, emotional intelligence isn’t obsolete. It’s essential.
Generative AI can enhance our lives, helping us to write, learn, reflect, and even grow. But it shouldn’t carry the weight of our humanity. Let AI be a tool, not a stand-in. Let it amplify your life rather than replace your heart.
Because at the end of the day, what truly connects us isn’t bandwidth or processing power. It’s warmth. It’s presence. It’s the unspoken language of being seen and heard, flaws and all.
Let’s not forget: We don’t just need smarter machines. We need wiser humans.
Jan Bonhoeffer, M.D., is a professor of pediatrics at the University of Basel, Switzerland. He has built and led large global networks to improve child health, and he has advised the WHO.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2025 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The brightest way to shine is by being fully, imperfectly yourself.
Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
