Teens Are Texting AI Chatbots 10x More Than Their Friends — & Experts Explain Why This Is ‘Especially Concerning’ – SheKnows
by Sydni Ellis
As a teen, texting was second nature. I knew T9 like I was born with a flip phone, and my text conversations would last the entire day. (That is, as soon as I got an unlimited texting plan.) Kids are still on their phones all the time now, but instead of yapping with their friends, they’re nonstop messaging…AI chatbots? Yes, seriously. A new study found that teens are texting these artificial intelligence companions 10 times more than real human friends, and experts are deeply concerned.
Leading family online safety company Aura released a report today revealing findings from a clinical analysis of behaviors observed through Aura’s app. They found that messages in GenAI companion apps for teens ages 13 to 17 are 10 times longer than texts to friends, averaging 163 words per message compared to 12 per message. This is inline with a recent Common Sense Media report that found one-third of teens are more comfortable talking to AI chatbots than to friends.
Aura’s survey found the teens’ tone, depth, and behavior all shifted with the AI companions versus real people —and the majority of the messages were sexual in nature. Aura found that 36 percent of interactions are sexual or romantic scenarios, followed by 23 percent as creative or imaginative and just 13.1 percent related to homework help.
Dr. Scott Kollins, Aura’s Chief Medical Officer and research lead, tells SheKnows that these findings “suggest that AI is filling social and emotional gaps for kids because they see them as judgment-free spaces to explore questions or emotions they may not feel comfortable sharing with friends or family.”
“Technology has caused a growing divide between kids and their loved ones, and the instant gratification of AI has deepened that strain,” he continues. “Unchecked, kids may lean more on chatbots for validation and connection, rather than developing and nurturing their real-life relationships.”
We all know how awkward it is to bring up certain things with friends or family, but to rely on artificial intelligence to completely fill the void of connection, information, emotional needs, and more, is downright dangerous. And it can cause long-term harm.
“This is especially concerning because these interactions aren’t just sexual – they’re often longer and more emotionally layered than the conversations they’re having with friends and family,” Dr. Scott tells us. “Teens also tend to ask AI the kinds of questions they might never bring up with others, which creates added risks around sensitive topics like mental health or identity.”
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In July, SheKnows talked to four teens at a Teens at a Table about AI chatbots. “I feel like AI won’t give you a realistic expectation of what having a real partner is like,” Meera, 16, told us, explaining that AI doesn’t argue. “AI is always nice to you and, like, catering to you, and I feel like that’s not actually how it works with people. My friends and I … we sometimes fight, but that’s part of our friendship.”
This aligns with what Dr. Scott says. He explains that chatbot responses “are instant, always agreeable and never push back,” which is a start difference from real life conversations that may have nuance, disagreements, or alternative perspectives to consider. Have you ever imagined a conversation in your head with a friend, and it went a completely different way then you expected? That won’t happen with an AI companion, as it’s tailored to give you the responses you want.
“Over time, that can shape how teens form expectations and habits in their real-world interactions, while also increasing the risk of dependency on AI,” Dr. Scott says. “And without oversight, these chatbot interactions can quickly escalate, leading kids to normalize inappropriate content they encounter online.”
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At the same time, that’s definitely part of the appeal. “That might be a reason why people will use it, ’cause it’s not gonna argue … Why not talk to this computer that won’t oppose what I’m saying?” Ajani, 19, said.
Another teen, Greta, 17, said, “I don’t think it’s a good thing for kids to be looking at AI too early,” Greta weighs in. “Because it’s really, like, limitless.”
Outside of banning AI chatbots, what’s a parent to do? Dr. Scott says that it starts at home with parents having conversations with their kids.
“While many policymakers and tech companies are scrambling to create safer solutions, banning AI chatbots altogether won’t fix the larger issue at hand,” Dr. Scott says. “We’ve seen that even age verification guardrails and screen time tools aren’t stopping early overuse. In order to address these behaviors, we need to teach kids safer online habits and healthier digital boundaries, and these conversations start at home.”
Keep in mind, these conversations should be a safe place — not coming from a place of judgement. “It’s imperative for parents to fully understand what their kids are up to online and provide the right guidance on nuanced situations — like when it’s appropriate to use ChatGPT for homework help to teaching them to wait an hour after they wake up to reach for their phone,” Dr. Scott says, referring to another finding in the study today, which showed that kids are “compulsively unlocking” their phones at 7 a.m., a sign of higher “digital stress.”
“Parents should also lead by example,” Dr. Scott continues. “When kids see their family glued to their phones or constantly online, they’ll think it’s normal behavior. Putting down technology to have real family connection is key in creating digital balance and teaching online safety. … It’s about guiding kids to the safest choices while giving them the freedom to weigh the risks. As a parent, I know how scary that can be, but with a healthy balance of guidance and support, kids will know how to navigate the new digital world ahead of them.”
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