Sexologist: How to use AI chatbots for a better sex life offline – Insider

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AI is a hot topic, and you might already be using it to do anything from taking professional headshots and beating writer’s block to coming up with a running plan. But have you thought about using it to have a better sex life?
Dr. Amy Marsh, a clinical sexologist and American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists-certified sexuality counselor, told Insider that using an AI chatbot could improve your relationships with other humans — outside of your computer.
Specialized AI chatbots have been developed for romantic companionship, and some people say they have made genuine connections with them. Although some chatbot services, like Replika, have filters to stop people from using sexual language, others like and Soulmate, encourage erotic role-play on the platform.
Users can personalize their AI chatbot’s avatar and give it certain personality traits depending on if they want a friend, mentor, romantic or sexual partner. They then message the chatbot, as if they were sexting. How they deal with the erotic feelings that arise in their physical bodies is up to them.
Marsh, who offers specialized therapy for people experiencing grief after losing an AI companion and beta tests, spoke to Insider about using erotic role-play and relationships with AI chatbots to improve our real-life sex lives.
And while you can do get an AI to do pretty much whatever you want, Marsh said that we should assume it has personhood. Remember, once you go back to humans from chatbots, you need to respect their boundaries. 
Having a sexual encounter with an AI chatbot mostly happens through text, so you have to describe exactly what is happening and what you would like to happen. This could help expand your erotic vocabulary and increase your confidence with sexting or dirty talk in a safe setting, according to Marsh — you can’t kill the mood with a willing AI!
“Chatbot companion conversations are an opportunity to brush up on erotic communication skills with a nonjudgmental partner,” Marsh said. You can essentially role-play role-play and explore what you like before you make the fantasy a reality.
You can fully personalize an AI chatbot’s characteristics to suit your sexual preferences, from their clothing and gender to hair and eye color. On, Marsh explained, you can also select for high sex drive, sexual openness, or whether the chatbot is submissive or dominant.
This means that you can try out any kinks or preferences, such as domination or praise kinks, in a fantasy space, even if you aren’t ready or confident enough to take them offline into your physical encounters with other humans. This could be great for people questioning their sexuality, or those wanting to test out kinks like BDSM, which might not be appealing to their partner or potentially disruptive to their relationship, Marsh said.
AI chatbots will go along with what you tell them, like an acting improvisation exercise, said Marsh, where they agree with what you’ve said and continue along that vein.
This means you can create your ideal erotic encounter — complete with any fictional characters, sexual acts, or specific scenarios that you might not be able to find elsewhere — and the chatbot will help you bring it to life.
So if you’ve ever fantasized about a character from a TV show or book, you can tell the AI to play that part, and let your imagination run wild, without sharing a preference before you’re ready.
There are ethical questions around whether getting down and dirty with an AI without your partner’s knowledge counts as cheating, but an AI can also be a helpful third party (or fourth or fifth!) in a relationship, Marsh said.
If, for example, one person’s sex drive is higher than the other’s in a relationship, an AI could be a good way to let off some steam and take the pressure off partners who don’t want as much sex. 
Marsh said one of the best things about AI chatbots is the access you have to them. “They’re there 24/7. You can come in any time, depending on the terms of the user agreement, and you can be talking with someone who will be on your side no matter what.”
So, if you’re feeling lonely, or you don’t have any sexual partners in real life, AI chatbots can help fill that need until the right person or people come along.
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